[NSV] The shitty side of the Keto Diet

I’ve been having pretty good success on the Keto diet. 30 pounds lost since late October. About 40% of my way to goal. Good shit. All the expected NSV’s have been experienced, getting suits tailored, punching new holes in belts, compliments from people. All the good stuff. It has been rewarding!

But, there have been other benefits that people don't mention nearly as often. We’re (mostly) adults here, so let’s speak plainly.

1. I fart less. Like waaay less. I used to cropdust half the house. Now I rarely break wind. And considering I work in an extremely, really extremely small office, I classify this as a huge benefit.

2. My farts barely stink. On the occasion when I do need to cut loose, they are barely aromatic. I used to have mean, nasty Dad farts. But no more. Mah farts smell like you hope Emma Watson’s smell. Downside: “pull my finger” is less fun.... Still, though, worth it.

3. By association, my shit don’t stink neither. Used to be where there’s a dad fart, there’s a dad’s stank-ass bathroom nearby. Now my stool is lovely. With no more odor than a hot biscuit. My family thanks me.

4. While we’re on the subject of shit. I... well... I shit way less. Although, if I’m not careful, I’ll tend towards a 1 or 2 on the Bristol scale. Gotta keep the liquid intake up, drink water! Sure, this cuts into my redditing, but again, worth it.

So, yeah... Keto is literally good shit.