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Saturday, 11 November 2017

Im determined, but in need of encouragement

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This last year has been aggressively transformative for me. Last Christmas I weighed 225, my heaviest, I spent Christmas with my fiancés family in Tahoe and could not even make it down the beginner hills without taking a break. When I got back home I made a promise to myself to never be that size again. I started keto and by the end of the school semester in June I was down 40lbs. Now weighing in at 185 I took a break from strict keto, I had the tools and discipline to properly consume carbs. http://ift.tt/2t9mzpX My partner I saw the Grand Canyon, experienced all the summer festivals San Fransisco had to offer, and drank a lot of beer. Still the scale remained between 187 and 184. Two weeks before the start of our fall semester I had to have emergency surgery to remove a softball sized cyst from my right ovary. All my new found confidence disappeared in a poof. My belly was pumped full of gas and rounder then ever, I smelled bad and my ability to be active was gone. http://ift.tt/2zsVoMG A month long recovery and my bad sedentary lifestyle had taken me over again, which seeded a major depressive state. The scale now staying at 188, my classes took over, work became a major anxiety and I felt the crushing stress of everything. I started and failed to get back into keto each time succumbing to a day long carb binge before the week was up. I am beginning to feel that this is it, this is as far as I can get, the next 40 lbs looks impossible. The scale reads 187, through the whole summer I more or less maintained my weight, a battle I did not even know I had to win. Now I face the next 40lbs, this time im stronger, im smarter and more determined then ever. I realize I may fail a few more times, but the fact that I am still fighting for my goal is what will get me there.

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